Friday, March 21, 2008

On being Bipolar...

Manic Depression sucks!It does explain a lot about my life,tho.
Sucks the most when I'm in a mental frenzy and can't walk from the damned arthritis. When I can go putter around in the barn, or whatever , it's alright. But when I'm stuck in my chair, or (worse) in bed,and there's crap on tv, and I can't read when i'm manic, ....well, it just sucks.
I've been trying to tell myself that I'm 'allergic' to alcohol. It affects me differently than anyone else I've ever known. I surmise that I've been self medicating all these years when I was on my way up into mania. I'll stay up as long as there's alcohol available!!
Real jekyll and hyde.
I've managed to get it down to once a week, or even 2; but it's very hard. I prefer Weed, but it's so hard to find.... everyone has been "compromised" by law enforcement.

I've resisted medication.
I have a PDR in my library, and am an information junkie, and don't trust Big Pharma as far as I can throw them... "Deregulation" and all....
Frankly, the drugs indicted look worse than the illness. I'm just not ready to go there.
I've joined a Webring(upper right, I think) in the hopes that someone out in the ether will see this. It gets dicouraging shouting down a well. I know I bitch and moan a lot., but I'd still like to be heard. .

The variety of Bipolar I have, as near as my shrink and I can tell, is rapid cycling. Seems like the " garbage-can" diagnosis to me, where they put you when you don't fit anywhere else. It figures, Like I've said, I'm an anomaly.

Any way, thanks for the forum and howdy-do to y'all on the ring...


"Life is about failing at greater and greater things."_ Goethe

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